Why I Couldn't Accept Compliments (And How I’m Rewiring That)

For most of my life, compliments made me uncomfortable. When someone praised my work, my energy, or my heart, I didn’t feel seen, I felt exposed. Deep down, I believed I didn’t deserve it.

I thought they were just being polite. If they truly knew me, they’d take it back.

From a young age, I molded myself to what others expected. Compliments felt like lies because I was disconnected from who I really was. I believed if people knew the real me, they wouldn’t like me.

Even simple compliments triggered doubt. Someone liked my naturally curly hair? I’d think, “Sure, it’s the only nice thing about me.” I struggled with my weight, and that shattered my self-esteem. I hid behind straightened hair, downplayed my talents, my wins, my heart.

In leadership, I won awards and public praise, yet I felt like a fraud. I thought I was getting by by staying quiet and not rocking the boat. I couldn’t see my real impact.

One team member even nominated me for a major award, reading a heartfelt speech about how I’d changed her life. I recorded it but couldn’t fully believe it then. Now, I hear the truth.

Accepting compliments once felt arrogant or selfish. I feared shining too brightly. I would try to put myself down before anyone had the chance to give compliments.

Now, I know receiving isn’t arrogance. It’s self-acceptance. It’s letting yourself be loved and celebrated without guilt.

I’m still learning. But now when a compliment comes, I breathe. Hand on heart, I say, “Thank you.” Not because I’m perfect, but because I’m learning to let good things in.

Try this:

Next time someone compliments you, pause. Place a hand on your heart. Breathe deeply. Imagine the compliment as a warm light settling inside you. Then say, “Thank you.” No explanations, no deflecting. Just receive.