Dear Inner Critic: You Were Just Trying to Protect Me

How I stopped making war with my mind and learned to lead with trust.

For most of my life, a voice in my head never shut up.

It micromanaged every word I said, criticized how I looked, and second-guessed every move I made. It was exhausting, but also familiar, normal. I thought that voice was me.

I didn’t know what it felt like to just exist without being under surveillance.

The voice called me dramatic, too much, or not enough. Over and over until I started to believe it. It hijacked my growth, my peace, my voice.

But then one day, I stopped running from her.

I got quiet, I listened, and I heard something underneath all that noise:

Fear.

That voice wasn’t a monster. She was a scared, overworked version of me, doing her best to keep me safe in a world that once punished my softness, my light, my truth.

So I gave her a name: Nicole.

Not to be petty, not to make her smaller, but to create space between her voice and mine.

Suddenly, I had room to breathe.

Nicole was the one who flinched every time I got too visible. Who whispered “play it safe” before I spoke up, who panicked when I wanted to try something new, because failure meant danger.

She wasn’t mean; she was tired, hypervigilant, and stuck in the past.

She protected me through perfectionism, overthinking, and self-rejection. And when I finally spoke to her, not with judgment, but compassion, something shifted.

I said:

“Thank you for trying to keep me safe, but you don’t have to do that anymore. I’ve got this.”

She didn’t disappear, but she softened.

Now, her voice asks:

“Are you sure this is what you want?” instead of “You’ll ruin everything.”

She doesn’t sabotage, she checks in.

She’s learning how to trust me.

And maybe your inner critic is, too.

Try this when your inner critic spirals:

• Pause. Close your eyes.

• Place your hand over your heart.

• Ask: Is this fear... or just a part of me that doesn’t want me to get hurt again?

• Then gently say: “I see you, I hear you, but I’m safe now. You can rest.”

The truth is, you don’t have to silence your inner critic to move forward.

You just have to stop giving her the microphone.

She’s not the leader.

You are.