Unlearning the Lie That I’m “Too Much”

Aubrey
Aug 22
2 min read

Woman Standing on Rock Formation Near Body of Water

You Were Never Too Much

I was told I was too emotional, too sensitive, too intense, too much.

And for a long time, I believed it.

I thought I was broken, just the crybaby nobody wanted around. So I got quiet, I hid my tears, softened my voice, and shrunk myself until I barely recognized who I was.

But that wasn’t the real me, that was fear, that was survival.

As a child, I overshared because I craved connection, and that behavior followed me into adulthood. I thought if people knew the real me, they'd love me more, but the message I kept receiving was:

“You talk too much.”

“You’re too dramatic.”

“Don’t be so sensitive.”

So I began editing myself, filtering my stories, dimming my light, and even dulling my love.

The world doesn’t make space for people who feel everything, it makes space for people who perform being “fine.”

Even as a leader, when I brought empathy to the table, I was told I “cared too much.” When I spoke from the heart, I was told I “overshared.” So I started second-guessing myself in every room I entered, wondering if my presence was too loud, my emotions too visible, my honesty too raw. I thought I was being judged or secretly made fun of, which stopped me from talking in groups.

Online, I’d write something meaningful… and then delete it because I was afraid of being misunderstood, judged, labeled.

But here’s what I know now:

I do feel deeply.

I do care intensely.

I do have big emotions, big thoughts, big love.

That’s not a flaw, that’s not weakness, that’s a gift.

Reclaiming What I Silenced

Over the past year, I’ve been unlearning the belief that I have to tone myself down to be worthy. When fear creeps in, I pause. I place my hand on my heart and say:

“I am not too much. I am everything I was meant to be. I am safe to take up space.”

The truth is, I was never “too much.” I was just surrounded by people who didn’t know how to hold what I carry.